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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Wishful(?) Thinking.

Who hasn't fantasized about their dream home? Who hasn't experienced speechlessness when they enter the "humble" abode of someone they know? Some people like shoes, some like fine china, I like... I like both. And houses.

The thought of one day residing in a perfect home makes me shrivel up in joy. When I think about it, I squish my cheeks together and squint my eyes because it is just so... wonderful. It's a symbol of independence and one of the most showy forms of creativity. It's a sign of what you are and what you like. When you invite people in, you are saying, "This is all I am and all that I aspire to be. This is more than where I sleep and eat. This is more than a simple building. This is me."

I'm just really excited about something that I will probably never fully have. It's that little bit of hope that keeps me so focused on what I want to do in the future. Basically, make enough money to obtain this thing, and maintain the right amount of happiness in order to enjoy this. Unfortunately, money is a huge factor.

I'm not rich. Middle class, I suppose. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Ain't nothing wrong with being poor or wealthy either. This obsession with having a fantastic home in the future is probably a manifestation of my ever-swelling psychological desire to get a better home than what I am in now.

Don't get me wrong. I'm expecting the whole "home-is-where-the-heart-is" schpiel. I believe "schpiel" is a word. I am aware that it is really not what you have that counts, it's what you do with it and most importantly, who is there with you regardless of your monetary status. I am so grateful that I am actually able to sleep under a roof and have my own room. I realize how damn important that is. I realize how much someone would give up in order to live in my self-dubbed "lowly home."

But we live in a capitalist society in which everyone is trying to one-up the other, and if you don't have big dreams, yain't going very far. That's basically what has been shoved down my throat all these years. I understand that in reality, I'm going to settle down somewhere in a little Houston neighborhood, surrounded by other middle-class, cake-baking families, maybe with a husband, maybe without. I may get a cat, but I'm not sure science has gotten to the point at which they can genetically engineering antiallergy cats. I'm also not sure humans would go that far. I'd have bushes and maybe two trees in my front yard. Thing is, though this sounds like I am whining... I'm not. I look forward to it. I really do. Like I said, it's a symbol of independence, freedom. I'd hang trinkets up EVERYWHERE and I'd have Glade plug-ins in all of the rooms. I'd paint my bedroom purple.

Let the wish list begin!

The house would hopefully have stairs. Be it an official two-story house, or a one-story house where I convert the attic to a mold-free loft. The outside would be brick... perhaps. I'd hang fake plants outside, but people would think they are real. I'd have a nice porch with hard-wood floors and three giant pots. One of my current neighbors has three giant pots and one is artistically knocked over and I think it just works soooo freaking wonderfully. Their porch is tiled though... I kind of like that. The front yard would have one of those semi-circle driveways. Let's just make it official that my dream house would be two-story. I have never had that before and it's just.... one of those things. It's also necessary to clear that up because I want a staircase with a damn slide. A nicely-polished purple and neon green slide. Sweet mother of God. A slide. I shudder at the thought.

But let's still stay on the outside. The backyard would be HUGE. If I have kids, I want them to be able to invite their friends over and throw safe parties. Trampolines. Or one huge one. Even if I don't have kids, I want a trampoline. WITH A SLIDE that would lead to a 5 ft. pool with a jacuzzi. Oh, and the pool would change colors, but only purple and, you guessed it, neon green. Around the pool, I'd have beautiful arrangements of bushes, but not bushes that burglars could hide in during a night swim. A heated night swim, of course. The backyard porch would be tiled and have a gorgeous table with pretty lavender chairs. And connected to the house would be a bar. Oh, and I'd have Greek sculptures everywhere. 

The side of the house has a garage that is not attached. Maybe I'd ditch the semicircle driveway idea. Oh, forgot to mention, the house would be on a cul-de-sac. Love those. The garage would be nice, not scary. I don't know, it'd be rid of that odd echo sound that most garages have.. or don't have... I think. What else?

Every Christmas, my house would the "Best Dressed for the Holidays" awards, because I would DECK OUT. The most my family has decorated our house was slapping a wreath of our front door. We don't use it anymore.

INSIDE. First, all of the rooms would have dimmers. I fucking love dimmers. They can make bathrooms seem sexy. Second, potpourri bowls in every room, plus tasteful trinkets and other decor. The living room would consist of a giant deep purple fluffy rug. And bronze lamps. Love lamps. Oh, they can dim, too. The walls would be dark gold... but not shiny. Like, the good kind of gold. The TV would be white, and super awesome... surround sound, speakers everywhere. The couches, loveseat, and recliner chair would be the most comfortable thing ever to accommodate a butt. What else? Modern pictures. OH, and the exterior would be totally modern, windows, slants, diagonal architectural crap, all that good stuff. Forget about that. 

The resting room, I guess, where people sit randomly, would have a small table, fancy chairs, and footrests from IKEA. I'd have one large bookshelf in there, and on both sides, wall-mounted candle-holders. There would ALWAYS be a candle in them, no matter what. Oh, and can't forget those lamps. With dimmers.

KITCHEN. Totally modern kitchen. All of the works. Shiny black refrigerator, I would cook in the dimmed light, and the microwave would be attached to the shelves somehow. I've always liked that. It'd be lighted often, for I like to eat at unholy hours of the night, and I do not enjoy scares. 

All bathrooms would have really fancy showers. Like, I can't describe it, they are just...fancy. Not automatic toilets, I hate those. Eurgh. They'd have mirrors with those dressing-room lights around them, y'know? We have them now, and I'd like to keep them. They'd have rugs, too. And the toilet seats would be deep purple, too... and plushy, but smooth. The wall color would vary... don't know yet.
Man included. 

INTERRUPTION: I know all of these random specifications seem pretty normal to some of the people reading this. I'm aware. 

The bedroom would be purple themed...again. I would switch out bedsheet combinations every month or so, with more frequent washing, mind you. The bed would either be a bunk bed or a circular one. And you know what, I'd want a hammock in there...OR a swing hanging from ceiling, like that one room in Penelope. And like, and random tree outta nowhere, but a fake one. I'd have a speaker system set up, there too. I like to dance. Pictures, or course, and dimmers. AH. A nice night table with a dresser with a mirror somewhere near there...

I'd have a whole closet devoted to earring, necklaces, and hair stuffs. And another would be dedicated to clothes and this one will be HUGE and have a rotating rack, like the one in Hannah Montana. It'd have those 3 mirror set-ups, too. Two shelves devoted to shoes...maybe I'd fit the accessory dresser in that one. 
The closet leads to a secret room through a passageway that can only be opened if one tilts the bust of Lady Gaga 45 degrees. You've heard of mancaves, right? Yeah, some homes have a theater. Chairs, popcorn maker, everything. Plus the latest gaming systems.And a rotating DVD thingy. Yup, that. But it'd be pimped out in a feminine style. With purple. It's basically a party room. It'd have a recording studio attached. With a piano, a flute, bongos, and several acoustic guitars. Plus, band memorabilia, with a wall dedicated to Gaga and Muse. I'd have a section for the Gorillaz, too. In the main theater/party room, I'd have a projector screen that can show high-quality movies. That room would never be as bright as the others. I'd also have a DJ booth in there. And maybe a bar. Not necessarily with alcohol. But with food.. especially Ramen. I'd never run out of Ramen.  

Near that room, or somewhere else on the second floor, I'd have a game room. With a ball pit. And one of those weird... scary trampoline-like thingies. They are basically trampolines, but they are like garbage bags made out of tent-material and have a vacuum constantly blowing air into them, making it FUN AS HELL to jump on them. They have 'em at Fun-Plex. I'd also have bumper cars, only 4 of them, and they'd have their own large room with a disco ball. I also want a room made completely out of trampolines and another room with bubble wrap everywhere. And ping pong tables that can convert to a pool table. All of these rooms have sound systems, too. Maybe a room dedicated to old arcade games.
Yeuh, this is a bit much...
The backyard would have a hammock... better than the one in the bedroom. I would also like a hamster-tunnel-style transport system built in there. It may not physically pan out as expected. 

EDIT: Forgot the library. Oh, what a library this would be. The doors on the first floor that open it would be like...old Victorian, intricate doors. And inside... joy. It would be two stories high, FULL of books. Also, it'd have a 12 foot high waterfall, that was the source of a tiny river that led n and around my house. IN AND AROUND. Small fish would be in... but fake ones. 

Agh, looking back, this is pretty much unnecessary. I was just...struck by Cribs...or is it Cribz? I realized that if I have all of this, mostly the "fun" stuff, I wouldn't enjoy those rare occasions to go outside. I just want a house... a home that can keep me alive. No need for the extras... but the slide is just... it's so perfect. 

Seriously. Bed, fridge, working toilets, and we'll be happy.

A fast internet connection would be wonderful...

GAH, this is a rather odd post for me. I'm not usually like this. 


  1. Gotta say, the library was my favorite bit.

  2. When I was little I devoted and entire spiral notebook to planning out my dream house. I still have it. I would save ikea magazines (this was before my parents gave me free reign of the internet) and I got pieces of graph paper and blueprint paper. And I sketched what it was looked like, and each of the rooms. And it was intense. My interests have changed since then. But I still want the basic stuff. I might do a blog post about it, so you can see it ;)