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Monday, June 6, 2011

Awkward Encounters of the Paternal Kind.

CHEERFUL POST! Finally. My mood goes up when I write these, which is wonderful. However, if you have not read my previous one, I suggest it. Only read it if you honestly don't want your outlook on life to go down. It's one of those posts that is meant to be eye-opening. But yes, on to the cheerfulness! 

Alrighty, the beginning of summer has been very eventful. I'm not used to actually having a schedule. For the past few years, I just caught up on sleep, engaged in addictive gameplay, and resumed my full stalking activities. I was perfectly content. I am a generally... lazy person, so I felt fulfilled during those past years. My dad is usually alright with this behavior. and by "alright," I mean he complains about the lack of motivation and I... tune it out. Bad daughter, I know. 

Anyway, it came as a shock to hear that he had planned a trip to Ohio. First of all, AH, we haven't traveled in years, how exciting! Second, Ohio has almost nothing to offer. Everything after that sort of runs together. Like if you spill orange juice and sweet cereal milk at the same time, and both liquids mix to form a creamy peachy color. I've been procrastinating. Old habits die hard. I think that is the saying.

So, the main purpose of the random Ohio trip was to visit my dad's side of the family. 'Kay, Ohio has family to offer. My dad is definitely a Mama's Boy, and he misses his mother. It's very sweet. She's everything you'd expect in a little Black grandmother. 

A) She's short and is sort of bald, but it's adorable in that way only old people can be adorable.
B) She's a SUPER BAPTIST. You HAVE to mention that you have been praying or she will lecture the heck out of you.
C) She will always pray for you.
D) She pretends not to hear what you said if a "ma'am" doesn't come after it. She made me repeat something three times, slowly, and loudly, before I actually got it.
E) She has cute nicknames for her children. She calls my dad "'Carda." His actual name is Lacarrda. 

My gosh, my father has an unusual name. It just never hit me as hard as it did just now. 

My father wanted to surprise his mother. He planned on finding the family records of a really wealthy aunt who at one point had five hundred acres of land. she would be his great-aunt, I believe. Or something like that. She was a slave, or her parents were. See, I don't even know... one more reason he wanted to get her records. 

Two days ago, he took us, including my brother, who he considers a son, to the genealogical library in Downtown. I wish I could say the experience was totally amazing. But it was destined for awkwardness before we even got in. 

I don't know if you, wonderful readers, were outside two days ago, but it was freakin' hot. We were pulling into the tiny parking lot and I remember seeing a blonde policewoman strolling around in the heat. she was making her way towards the entrance. This is important.

We all got out of the car, carrying a bunch of documents, and I felt pretty important. we then had to adjust my little brother's shoes because they have a tendency to get messed up.My brother also carries his little water bottle. I like him a lot because he's cute and he makes cool faces and he's my brother. I hate how he isn't my brother from another mother, but I am his sister from another mister. Unfair. Anyway, we finally head to the entrance.

My dad whistles and says something to the effect of, "HOT!"

The policewoman hears and puts her hand up and just asks, "Are you talking about me?" 

I fought the urge to curl up and cry and laugh. my dad quickly covers it up with more obvious weather remark. I had to face the other way at this point. 

She then tells us we cannot take the water bottle inside because it could ruin the precious documents. So we head to the car again, and my brother places the water bottle inside. we head back...again. My dad makes yet ANOTHER comment about the hot weather, and this time the policewomen just smiles.

I examined her and saw that she was an albino Black person. I know that's a pretty forward statement to make, but I am 98% certain. I flashed her an apologetic smile and shuffled in. 

My dad is single. Usually his attempts with women are smoother. But in this case, he wasn't even trying to initiate feelings of attraction. I would not either in this case, if I have kids. Including one toddler who doesn't even  remotely resemble him in any way. 

He's pretty nifty. My mom is sort fo the shy giggly type, and I guess I take after her in the presence of adults. If I had the mojo of my father... I'd probably be even more single than I am now. And that is totally not a bad thing! I don't know how one can get more single. Maybe instead of boosting attraction levels, I would raise repulsion levels. I think it sort of works with my father because he is a male, whereas the same actions would earn me some offensive nicknames.



  1. Did you find anything at the genealogical library??? I'm thinking negative, but you didn't specify. Also, is that just for Texas, or is it for all over? Cause if it's all over I want to go.
    Also, I think your entire family sounds adorable. With your grandmother, is it that you have to bring up that you were praying? Or if she asks you have to say it?
    When I was in around 4th grade, my dad started dating again... it was just so awkward. I don't know how Ruth fell for it. Whatever. Dads are just awkward.

  2. Thanks for reading and commenting! Heh, nothing of importance were found. My dad awkwardly realized that they may not have listed black records. I have no idea. And I think it's all over!

    ALL families are adorable to an extent...until you get to know 'em ;) I mean, everyone has their nice and crappy sides. Merh. And she must hear that I was praying...but it's not bad. I respect it, and love that it gives her so much security and strength. 'em... but... so much confusion. :)

  3. Seriously, they didn't list black records?? That's ridiculous! I would totally go check it out except my family is from Pennsylvania (like 2 generations) and then straight from Europe. So I doubt I'd be able to find much. But it might be cool to see anyways!

    I know what you mean. Everybody else likes your family better than you do, because you see their crappy sides more.
    I think religious people are awesome (I'm not one of those atheists who hates religion), I just don't think it's right for me. But I think people who have awesome faith are, well awesome.