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Sunday, June 19, 2011

Eating Habits.

YAY, another list! Once again inspired by a Reddit thread. This deals with junk food, for the most part. So health nuts and parents, I ask that you hold back harsh comments. If I don't mention the healthier foods, it just means that I eat those like a normal person, not that my diet is evil to soccer moms with memberships in Parents Against Sugar. If this does bother you, I'll give you a shoulder massage... with my Cheetoh-powdered, doughnut-glazed, stir-fried hands. While licking you with a red tongue, stained by raspberry Tootsie pops. And I'd have a weave made from angel hair pasta and sauce, lightly dusted with garlic. And I would be wearing melted butter for lotion. I'm hungry.


  1. Josh Mankey showed me this. Dipping fries in chocolate shakes. He was Kim Possible's crush during the whole embarrassment pollen fiasco. Season 1 Episode 43 "Blush." It starts at around 13:40. You can watch from there or watch the whole episode. My suggestion? Watch the whole episode.
  2. I swirl ice cream until it has the consistency of thick yogurt. Not pudding because that's a bit watery. I enjoy eating it while keeping the smooth surface on top. This is cultured living.
  3. I scrape out some of the filling in Toaster Strudels. I don't like having a glob of slightly tangy filling underneath perfect icing.
  4. I also scrape out filling from Pizza Rolls. This is only when I decide to eat them in one bite, which is more often than the other option. 
  5. I prefer not to have crust on sandwiches, but when I can't avoid it (I'm at someone's house and their parents physically hand me a carefully sculpted sammich) I eat the crust first. It's not abnormal, I just thought it was worth mentioning.
  6. I peel apple skin with my teeth and discard of it. I hate doing this in public because people question me. I strongly dislike apple skin. Stop telling me about the nutrients in it. I'm aware. 
  7. When cooking Ramen noodles, I let out the majority of the water. When I mix the delicious MSG-abundant powder in, it is not diluted. Definitely packs a punch. If I don't drain it, I just add two packs. I stopped doing that, because that leaves no powder for the other pack, which is terrible.
  8. Donuts, brownies, cookies, and cakes must be warmed in the microwave and must be accompanied by a full glass of milk. Milk amplifies the taste. Always.
  9. Chocolate milk cannot be too chocolatey, nor shall it be too milky.
  10. Hot chocolate must be hot. Not warm, not cold. Hot.
  11. I don't like vegetables in fried rice. I spend the first few minutes picking out all of the vegetables I see. The ones that I hate are the "invisible" ones like onions. They infiltrate my fingery defenses and attack with an undesired crunching in my mouth. I do like having eggs in there, though it's not a vegetable.
  12. Eggs. Scrambled. Lightly seasoned. Perfection.
  13. I think this is on its way to becoming a habit. Ranch dressing in turkey sandwiches. My aunt showed this to me. It's so great. I see why my carrot-loving friend loves Ranch so much. 
  14. Chips in sandwiches. I don't like lettuce, so chips add the good kind of crunch I am looking for.
  15. When eating foods with an unbalanced mix of ingredients (pasta and meatballs, Lucky Charms), those ingredients must be balanced accordingly. One marshmallow for every six plain cereal unit. So on.
  16. Mandarin oranges, pineapples, other fruit cup fruits all must be juicy. I cannot stand dry fruit cup fruits.
  17. I do not like the white stuff on oranges. That's why I don't eat them, unless they come in fruit cups with the white stuff out of sight.
  18. Cold fruit is the best kind of fruit. Cold fruit plus summer in my city is delightful.
  19. Cold ANYTHING during the summer is delightful.
  20. Soggy Cereal Policy: If it does not fall apart on my spoon, it's still edible. 
  21. Salads. Um. I don't really eat them anymore. I put too many croutons and too much dressing on it one time and that ruined it for me. I remember gagging. But when I find one that looks alright, I'll edit this one.
  22. Hunger strikes when you least expect it. It must be dealt with. It's not weird to find myself eating while crying, laughing, or sleeping.
  23. Applesauce just tastes better with a pinch of brown sugar.
  24. My family is a brown sugar family. That's not meant to be a black joke. However, we do not buy white sugar anymore. That's not meant to be a white joke. It's only offensive if you consider it as such, and I apologize if you do. I now consider white processed sugar to be "fake." I don't know how else to put it :/
  25. This is kind of sad. I will drink things in a bowl if a cup is nowhere to be found. Like a cat. Mew.
What better way to end this post... than to hint that there will be MORE LISTS?

There will be more lists!

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