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Saturday, August 27, 2011

"Do You Realize...

Everyone you know...someday will die?"

These are just thoughts on junior year so far. I woke up at 6:30 today. I still have a few hours to myself, which is really nice. I could strip in the kitchen and sing songs from musicals without being caught, and it would be silly and fantastic and normal. But I am typing right now, because it takes less effort.

I just had cake with ice cream. I'm playing with Chapstick. I'm going to get more cake. I'm being a woman right now.

My sentence structure is very exciting. It goes subject-verb-something. Life is great.

Junior year has made me more aware of death. I have known about it for some time, but junior year is making me think about it more often. No, I don't want to die. Please do not worry. It just calms me. You know, I'll have a test two days from now, and I start thinking about how unprepared I am for it, instead of studying. And I think and I think and I think until I eventually start to think about how it won't matter when I die.

Never mind, I'm not going to talk about junior year any more than I already have.

Today is nice.

1 comment:

  1. Well, I'm very sorry that this is super late. But I'm here now!
    So I kinda disagree with this. Fundamentally, if you do badly on a test it won't matter when you die. But if you do well and get places, then the people's whose lives you impact. It will have made a difference how you did on that test. Maybe that would be the test that lowered your GPA to a 3.49, and you got kicked out of NHS, and then you couldn't go to your dream school. And you didn't impact that persons life.
    This is why I hate junior year. I feel like every single thing I do is so completely linked to my future. I just want to curl up in a ball and no deal with any of it. I want to cry a lot. But I'm glad that you were happy, although this comment may have just killed it (if junior year hadn't already).
    I apologize for the depressing nature of this comment.