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Saturday, October 27, 2012


My sister and I aren't fighting now, we've both calmed down. She'll still kick the back of the seat when I'm driving and shit, but she's not spraying stuff. There was a point where I would not do anything to provoke her and she had this fucked up period of attacking that I didn't get. But she's out of that now. She's also breaking out of her shell in school I think.

I think it flared up because she's in high school now and she doesn't know what to do and I don't know how to approach her to help her. This was the worst in some ways and I think it might also be because of puberty. Because when I was her age, I was a little shit. She lost her best friend because she's at another school and she's having so much fun with new friends, while my sister is still finding her group.

We're both really weird people when it comes to making friends. I don't know, she does weird things, like the stuff I do/did. She does that...fake-mean thing that I do. Like, she'll be really sassy and uses her face a lot. But we both started out kind of shy and nice with always complimenting people. And then we'll get weird.

She made up a fake male friend in her Spanish class and I made this fake male Facebook account in my freshman year.

She made a presentation about making sock puppets for her speech class. It was a demonstration and her example sock puppet fell apart in her hands. Like, it was on the floor and everything. So she made this fake sobbing face that I can't explain. I don't know what it is with our faces, I guess we got it from our mom. because sometimes she looks like that when she's upset. And she couldn't stop laughing throughout the rest of her presentation because of her failure. And it parallels my freshman Spanish presentation where I couldn't stop laughing about a picture of an owl I put on the PowerPoint.

We both have similar senses of humor. Like my dad will be seriously upset with us for not washing dishes on time or whatever. And she'll fake sob and then say something philosophical like, "we're all going to Hell anyway," and then she'll literally howl and skitter away to her room. We actually cannot have dinner together because it usually ends in someone running away from the table and that is not an exaggeration. I ran away last time because I couldn't stop laughing at my dad's face because we all kind of look alike and it was creeping me the fuck out. I went back later to take my plate. He has a really round nose and it was shining at that point.

She does that uncomfortable kind of dancing that men in 80s movies do when they try to impress girls. I don't do that, too, but it's interesting. We both like drawing and she's currently finding her style. I think we get that from our mom, she draws secretly. Like, she never shows her true self, my mother. She's like in this perpetual egg.

But we both have insane tempers. We are both really irrational people when we're angry. So when we clash, we actually might hate each other for like a week or two and then the rest of the time, we'll ignore each other. The difference is that I've gotten my anger out over the past two years and she's just now coming into it. So she'll get angry at home and take it out on me and I won't respond with that same anger. She'll do all the shit and I'll stay quiet but write about it, which I should stop doing because I guess she found it. I did the same shit with my dad when I was learning about rebellion and stuff.

I don't know. We're calm for now.

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