Sunday, November 25, 2012
I had the worst nightmare ever in the entire history of ever forever. I already posted this on tumblr but it's okay.
So, I don't know if people know this, but my worst fear is an actual zombie apocalypse. This started before a lot of people started to get really into it and started to make survival guides and movies. So when I first thought about it, I really felt helpless. I fucking hate zombies. They truly are the worst. They're really your friends and other loved ones, but they want to eat you and like, kill you and all. That's fucking sad. If any of you guys were zombies, I'd try to remember you as you were. Not the creature you had become. Except none of you fuckers would get to eat me. I'd run away. I wouldn't kill you.
Before I go on, I just want to mention that the mind is glorious and terrifying. You can make up some pretty fantastic things on your own, but when you seem to have no control over it, it can feel dangerous. I've had nightmares before. I've had sleep paralysis, which is another thing that people like to call BS on, but it's so real, I almost peed in fear. Respect that. For a while, you are a victim of your mind and it is doing things on its own and you are just left there in your own fear.
At least with roaches and rabid animals, you can actually run away. Because they're real things, they're tangible. But you can't escape from your dreams as easily. You can try to wake up but it doesn't always work before the worst parts.
So moving on. I was in my home. My dad and sister were with me and our neighborhood was infested with some zombies. They were crawling up and down houses and looking for ways to get in and it was fucking terrifying. I was going around the house, closing all of the blinds. I knew they knew we were in there, but it gave me a bit more security to know that they couldn't see us. I was finishing up my room and I went to the one closest to our driveway. I peeked out and they were lingering over there. My fucking car was infested and god that's so upsetting. Our garage was open, but there's really no way to get into our actual home through that. Two male humans were on top and one jumped...uh on top of a zombie woman lower half and I guess died while having sex with that. I think the impact killed him, he fell on her. It's pretty fucking gross.
So the other male human sort of disappeared, I don't know.
I went to my sister's room to tell her to close the blinds and of course, she wouldn't listen, so I did it for her. Then I went back to the kitchen to check on my dad and the fucking side door was open and I could hear my dad talking and there was a fucking zombie in a red plaid shirt in the dining room so I ran away. I don't think he saw me.
I went to my sister's room first to get her ready and she was being really slow and not listening, so I pulled her into my room so we could hide. I checked again to make sure my blinds were closed and they were, but from the angle we were sitting, they looked slightly open.
I told her to hide in the closet and we tied it shut. We waited there for a while, expecting the red plaid zombie to knock on the door. I assumed our dad had been converted. After no sounds for a while, I peeked out of the closet and for some reason, the blinds where waaaay open. For some reason, I could now see from outside my room with a bird's eye view. I saw two zombies fizzle up after being dunked in some water, then it started to rain for two seconds and all the zombies were gone.
Or so I thought. I went up to the window and the blinds were actually closed but I could still see (I don't know?????). And then a cloud materialized into a fucking zombie. Like holy SHIT if that's how they're getting around, we truly are screwed. But yeah. It turns out it was Zombie Jesus and he came up to the window where my face was and said, "I'm going to get you, you scrawny bitch."
And I remember that part vividly. I could see his face, it was bloated and bleeding and he had his hands up to the window. Fuck you, Jesus. I scooted away from the window and back into the closet and we waited some more. Through the slits of the closet, I could see that Basic Bitch Zombie Jesus was still standing there. And I began to panic even more because he could just use his divine power to materialize into my room.
Then some more waiting happens and for some reason, my sister starts playing some fUCKING music. It's from this black metal radio station and I tell her to turn it the fuck off and we take out the batteries and all of its components that could be taken out and the music was still playing. And it wasn't even good music.
So I try to muffle it yet it seems to get louder.
That's when we realize that the music is coming from the vent in the closet. I don't have a vent in my closet. But it was there in the dream.
I wake up and it's 4:something in the morning and it turns out I fell asleep on my arm and I could not feel it at all. So I touch my face a bit to see what it feels like to be caressed by a person that's not me and it was sad. I shook it around wildly to get the blood back in and then I went back to sleep. Then dream #2 happened.