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Thursday, May 9, 2013


Let's focus on the good? Here's what's good.


Singing is super important.

It is now my way of coping with terrible events. From spilling Burger King frappes on beige carpet, to having your brother literally kidnapped, the combination of music and writing has honestly kept me going. I often feel burnt out at the end of the day. It's just something that happens after I've been around a lot of people.

My favorite memories involve being in the choir room before, during, and after a musical rehearsal to sing with some people. People would just make up harmonies and it wasn't like anyone was competing, because everyone sounded great. They all added their own flavor to it. We'd pick a song we all knew and Ethan would be on the piano. He didn't just play it, he made it sing, too. There were times when people felt particularly moved, and they'd take it away, and others would back down to let them have their moment. And then the chorus would swing around, so we'd join back in.

Everyone sounded perfect because they made it their own. With actual choir, things are more rigid. You have to sing in a certain way, there isn't a lot of room for mistakes with a lot of the things we are learning now. My voice is not really strong when it comes to classical music. I really enjoy learning all of the new terms and everything, but I can't remember most of them. It's still enjoyable.

But when people are free to do whatever they want... oh. Oh.

It's all kinds of singing, too. From the low muttered melodies you hear in the hallways at times, to the loud screechy joking kind of singing after a long day. What I consider to be "good singing" is singing where you can tell the person is feeling it. Even if they aren't belting out a love ballad while thinking about the features of their significant other with every single note, you can usually tell when someone is feeling it.

Sometimes people don't know they are singing. They might not be fully aware. It could be something little like that. I have a tendency to hum while doing repetitive tasks. It's still feeling it.

When I'm walking to my car after school, sometimes I try to tune out other sounds and focus on the melody of the moment. Wowowowow, yes, it sounds like bullshit, I am fully aware. I'll go on, though. I'll hear wind rustling through leaves and that'll be the main tune. My steps make up the bassline. Is it called the bassline r what, I don't know My thoughts make up the accents, the runs and rifts and whatever. I'll look at a blackened gumwad on the ground and associate that with a change in the song. A drum beat, colored and flourished and all sorts of wonderful. The click of my car's alarm thingy is a key change. It goes on. The walks after school are sometimes the most peaceful part of my day.

That's been the only real constant thing lately and I'm grateful for that.

Other than that, I've been diving into shows. I need to catch up on quite a lot of them, but on the plus side, I have something to do for this summer. I am pleased. Multiple seasons to catch up on, so many plots to experience, this is beautiful.

That and writing. I hope to keep writing. I can't do novels. I don't do novels. But I like writing casually. Maybe I'll make more of an effort to get an audience, although I'll have to start a new blog for that to happen. Maybe I'll keep a running collection of Facebook statuses. That'll take a long while to compile, but if people are willing to read them, I might as well. This summer, things are going to change.

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