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Saturday, May 18, 2013

Dislikes.

I do dislike people. There is no use in trying to come across as the kind of person that loves everybody. There are some people who I wish to avoid because I dislike being around them. The thing is, my standards, if you will, are a bit odd compared to a lot of my peers.

Some people I hang around with judge others based on expressed intelligence. You've got the extreme smarties who choose to associate with those who take the same number of AP classes. Well, yes, part of this is because they share so many classes with one another. But the choice they make is in actively deciding not to hang around those who don't seem as smart. It's a valid reason, yes, but my issue with that is the whole superiority thing. They don't associate with them because they believe they are better. That shouldn't be the case.

Now, a valid reason would be because there are limited opportunities for intellectual discussion, less of a chance for those groups to share common interests. One bunch might want to share a science article on why piano players have better driving skills than flute players, while they other might not be interested at all. (And yes, I realize that interests in topics are not limited to a certain intellectual level, but it's merely an example!)

I stopped limiting myself to interactions with people who seemed openly intelligent. My friend group is a smart bunch of kids. But I don't dislike others because they don't seem to be as intelligent. There are people who honestly talk shit about those who are "slow". That's what pisses me off.

The people I dislike are those who believe they are better than others because of their intelligence.

I also dislike cocky people. I always have. The only people I have ever seriously disliked share the trait of pretentiousness. Every single person I have ever truly disliked in high school, all five of them. People who constantly feel the need to bring up themselves, their accomplishments, their medals and IQ levels and GPAs and grades. I have honestly never been interested in that.

What draws me to people is their lives. What they are doing outside of the classroom. It's neat that they can understand material easily, but it what they do with it and all of the other things they've experienced that interest me.

I cannot stand cocky people. Their arrogance is suffocating and instead of seeing them as the amazing, talented people they want others to see, I see them as broken records. It's them, them, them, their parents, their boats, their looks, their motivation in classes, their sports.

This is far different from confidence. A confident person would be able to show their talents and hard work in what they do. NOT what they constantly tell others. I hate bragging. That's one thing I really do hate.

You can have a conversation with someone about something you've done, yes. You are proud of something you did. But bragging is intentionally showing off. I don't care for that.

I'm not too sure where the people who feel the need to correct others fit into this. In a sense, they can be considered cocky if they correct in a really condescending manner. It's just a really nasty trait to have, it's a nasty way of dealing with people. The proud and high and mighty are often very condescending, I guess in order to emphasize how much better they are than others. There are people who correct others because they want them to perform a task or something in a more correct/efficient way. But others take on the tone of, "How could you possibly do it in that way? That's dumb."

That crushes people, my goodness. If any of you feel compelled to make corrections, don't say something is dumb. When people make the decision to do that, they probably had their reasons. Sometimes, we look at a situation from the outside and can't understand why anyone would do certain things. We apparently know something they don't, and they're missing that, so they are making "dumb" decisions.

However, we have no idea what experiences they have been through prior to the event we are judging them on. We have no idea what's going on in their heads and they might have reasons for doing what they did. The only person, according to me, that can make stupid decisions is myself. I know myself and I am able to understand that I should have done something differently.

Do I look at the decisions of others and disagree with them? Yes. But it ends there. I disagree with them, but I see no point in thinking about it. Instead, I have to make following decisions based on that. Understand and move on, it's possible to do without condemning others for something they thought was a good idea.

With this attitude, my tolerance levels have shot up. This might be dangerous. What do I think of the 19-year old father who chooses to neglect his son, no child support, no further schooling, still continuing to chase women? That is different. And it depends on whether he is aware of the harm he is causing by his choices. There is a "wrong". There are correct decisions to make in that case, and at this point in his life, he can be expected to be able to make them. I disagree with his choices, but I don't think they are dumb. I think he should not have done all of that. Is he stupid? No. He's just a really shitty decision maker.

So, I take a special sort of offence at terms like "stupid" and "dumb". I've always had this "thing" about intelligence levels. This kind of attitude, that kids are so willing to call others stupid and some are so willing to look down on those who aren't intelligent, has become more apparent in high school. It implies that those who really are "stupid" according to the actual definition are worth less than those who are more mentally capable of advanced tasks.

My uncle is "stupid". The people who raise hell about caring for the mentally ill are some of the same people judging others for being "stupid".

I don't like people who judge based on stupidity. There was a girl who a lot of people made fun of. One of the reasons was that she didn't know what a furnace was in high school. That's merely due to a lack of exposure. Some people just haven't been exposed to things. Yes, some people don't read. The attitude today in a lot of the people I associate with is that people who don't read are not worth my time. Reading is magical and it really does expand the human experience. I understand this like crazy, reading is what lead me to writing and both are among the most important forces in my life. But not everyone can get "into" reading as easily.

That does mean less exposure. So they are less likely to know various bits of knowledge and funfacts. They are less likely to be able to connect with others who love reading, that too. But people can still lead fulfilling lives without reading. They do so by getting out into the world and doing. A balance, perhaps, would be ideal. But ideal in terms of self-fulfillment depends on the individual.

It may seem like I'm a general relativist. Well, I do believe there is a solid right and wrong. But what about the areas that don't involve moral standing? Like whether or not you want to read.

I don't like people who take without giving back. I don't like people who use others. They expect friendship and kindness but they haven't made sacrifices to give back. It was really difficult for me to be friends with someone who expected me to give and listen when she needed help. But when I ventured out to her for assistance, she flipped the conversation back to herself. I don't like going to others for help at all. I try to make myself as, well, unhelpable as possible, but that would mean I would be asking for them to give to me.

I really do not wish to become a burden to anybody, but I genuinely like listening. Fuck, I love listening. If people need to get something off their chest, I'll be there. It helps. I do the same, but I just pour things out by writing. I don't like listening because I take joy in seeing people suffer. The opposite, in fact, I like it because it means they are possibly getting better.

Ummumm, what else. People who judge for trivial things. One girl had a Romney sticker on her laptop and people made assumptions. I'm not a supporter of some of his ideas, but the girl didn't deserve to be teased. I feel like the people who still fuss about this need to get out of the mindset of a middle-schooler. "She has cowboys on her blog," or, "she still listens to Nickleback." He doesn't know how to socialize. He doesn't talk to anyone.

(cont. on the next post because this is so damn long!)


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