We all have our own battles. We have things that we hide and we sometimes want to ask for help, but we can't. In my case, it's because I don't want to let people get involved. They might get hurt, too. I don't want them to waste their time with me, especially if they have other things on their mind. I've never been able to ask for help.
But I've been trying to give help. It doesn't always work and I still make a lot of mistakes. Intended mistakes- choices that I make while knowing the consequences.
There are things in life that we cannot control. There are kids with fucked up families and broken homes. Kids who have been through physical and mental abuse. Kids who have seen stuff they were never supposed to see. We're all a bunch of broken pieces of something that is expected to look all fixed up and perfect around others. but damn it, that's hard.
What we can control, however, is whether or not to be dicks about something. We can make the decision to say negative things about someone. We can make the decision to exclude and include. We get to decide if we are nice to others or not.
Our past might influence us, it might steer us in the direction of wanting to hate others, to reject care from others, to bring people down. Our experiences shape us, that is true, and we tend to act out of habit. We tend to make decisions based on past information, past outcomes, and the most likely consequences.
People judge. People judge based on the worst things. I'm not going to smash judgment, entirely, but I'm going to lay out personal limits.
If anything, people should be judged based on the reactions they have to all types of situations. They should be judged on the decisions they make. Not their taste in music, not their favorite color, not their preference for math over English or their love of anime over live-action spy series. Those are, I suppose, decisions, too- but I mean major decisions. The decision to extend yourself onto others. The decision to not make fun of somebody because they aren't good at social interaction. The decision to gossip about somebody who does something differently than most people. If anything, people should be judged on who they make themselves, on the most basic level.
People should be judged on how they treat others.
We should judge based on the decisions that people make.